Any Given Saturday

On any given Saturday in Sketchydom you will hear and see things like this:

Mom, that would be me if there is any confusion, will go through the kids' backpacks.  Because let's face it I have Friday afternoon procrastination as much as any of my kids.  And find little gems like this <--  Jon's first book report.  If you don't read Jon I will translate, ahem:  Name: Jon   Date: 1-19-07    Rating: OK   Book Title: Good Morning Man   My Response: I thought this book was OK because it was OK at the end.

Really is there anything more to say?

Kids will be heard to either be enthusiastically doing their chores, greedily counting up the days until "payday".  Or, more likely, yelling "But I HATE cleaning my ROOM!!!" and "IT'S too HARD!!!" and Mom and/or Dad responding back first, "We can do something fun when you get your jobs done." and later on "JUST DO IT!!!"  (I try to quote from GA's --and also NIKE commercials-- as much as possible in this house.  However, it's just a teensy bit likely Pres. Kimball wouldn't approve of the tone I use while quoting him.)

Later, after disposing of the idea of visiting the Science Center, we will compromise on a "fun" place as Burger King with toy room.  I may regret this decision 1/2 hour later as the noise from people who don't chastise their children for intermittent "fun" screaming gets to me...you're not one of those parents are you? 

I'd also like to go on record as not being down with this new marketing strategy BK has come up with for their kids meals.  I am already at your crappy establishment.  I have already ordered your crappy food.  What does further purpose does your crappy BK Merchandise do for you?  Do my kids really need to be exposed to this travesty of a toy?  Is it too much to ask that you actually find one of the stupid kids movies to promote?  TV shows?  Are you really forced to the new low of promoting your own commercials? Marketing for Marketing?  Even Alex declares this toy "stupid" which is normally not a word used in our house, but for this I will let it pass.  I mean if I am really forced to further add to the clutter already lining my van floor, as the kids inevitably cling to the toy for the requisite 3 minutes before forgetting it forever, it is too much to ask that it be slightly less crappy clutter?  Hmmm, perhaps that's not the best way to express my feelings on the matter.

And I might suggest this marketing strategy isn't working for me either:  My Inner Champion gets fed more than I'd really like to focus on, thank you very much.

The last thing I want to hear while chowing down on a burger and onion rings is with the skills I've developed from constant, dilligent practice is I am now a champion at stuffing my face and can now go on the competitive eating world tour.  Although the "world tour" sounds interesting, the idea I might actually do well at the Wookey Hole Big Eat Mince Pie Eating Contest, frankly scares me enough to consider giving up Fast food forever and calling Jenny.

And at the store, how does one respond appropriately to this particular whine?  "Maaaahhhhmmm, why didn't you get me Heelys  for Christmas like I asked you????" Particularly when said whiner has a birthday coming up in a little over a week and those  $65 Heelys are being shipped to your house as the child whines?  And frankly you spent more on his Christmas presents than any of your other kids this year.  I was tempted to respond with an email canceling the order. 

Later as the kids clamor around watching Daddy play or something equally mind blowing, Mommy gets some quiet time...this time at the bookstore.

I love the bookstore.  Especially one like Borders with a nice comfy fireplace and cozy chairs to curl up in just to try out a new book before I buy.  This week on the clearance shelf I found this little gem irresistible:

I wanted to get it to send to you Carrot, but since I thought that asking for the address of a complete stranger known only through the Internet was a little higher on the creepy scale than I was willing to go, so let me just give you the tip, Borders - $3.99. 

Besides what girl doesn't need a recipe book with things delicious looking things like this: Cool Yogurt Smoothie pg 56; Easy Eclair Dessert pg 102; and White Chocolate Hazelnut Pie pg 36.

Not to mention such What the Fweak recipe like this:

Crown Jewel Dessert pg 20 and 21, it's quite involved; and the quite interesting concoction Gazpacho Salad, because I don't know about you but nothing says "Jello" to me more than:

• 1 cup diced tomato
• 1/2 cup diced peeled cucumber
• 1/4 c diced green pepper
• 2 Tbls diced red pepper
• 2 Tbls thinly sliced green onion
• 1/4 teaspoon pepper
• 2 tbls vinegar
• 1/8 tsp garlic powder (optional, because really that might be a bit much...)
• 1 1/2 cups tomato juice
• 1 pkg (4 serving size) Jello Lemon flavor Gelatin Dessert
• Crackers (optional, again, may be overkill...)

Mix Vegetables, vinegar, pepper and garlic powder (if you're being daring) in medium bowl; set aside.  Bring tomato juice to boil in small saucepan.  Stir into gelatin in large bowl at least 2 minutes until completely dissolved.  Refrigerate about 1 1/4 hours or until slightly thickened.

Stir in vegetable mixture.  Pour into 4 cup mold.

Refrigerate 3 hours or until firm.  Unmold.  Serve with crackers, if going crazy.  Garnish as desired.

I don't know about you, but I'm ready for LUNCH!

(And you said I never gave you any good recipes anymore...shaaa!)

Comments

[Suzanne]

LOL! That Gazpacho salad looks so nasty! I'm with you on the BK thing.

The "King" really creeps me out and that's just seeing him on t.v. I can't imagine what I'd do if I had to look at a toy with him on it.

Your posts are so fun! :)

[carrot jello]

Awww, you thought of me! Millie has my address ;) I agree about the creepy burger king toy, but disagree with their clever packaging. Sometimes I buy Burger King just so I can read their messages. Well, I eat the food, but I enjoy chuckling at their clever messages.

[Chrissie]

I remember being completely nonplussed when I first visited America as a tender 18 year old, to watch them spooning gobs of JELLY (as we call it) onto their BEEF!!!!!! What's THAT all about?!?!!! With marshmallows in it!!!!

So I'm glad to see nothing's changed and you're still making strange strange savoury things with jello.

Bleuh!

LOL!

[Sketchy]

Suzanne, it's all for you.

Carrot, but do you agree with me on the creepy-scale, that's the important thing.

Chrissie, Jello on beef???? I have no idea what you are talking about, if I ever did know what you were talking about I disavow all (nonexistent)prior knowledge of it. Must be a Utah thing...all jello (mis)adventures are from Utah you know.

And for the record if anyone makes that Gazpaucho concoction they are required to post pictures of the concoction and themselves eating it.

[No Cool Story]

Burger King king is evil and most be destroyed. What a creepy dude, what a horribly scary campaign, who thought that'd be a good idea? And feed you inner champion. Right.

I bought a Jell-o cookbook once, I love looking at all the beautiful pictures, I have made one of the recipes, once. I love to collect recipes, because In my mind I can see me cooking, while a heavenly chorus and a soft dreamy light shine upon the finished product. Unfortunately that's how far as it gets and I just keep adding to my recipe collection.

I’m not going to touch the concept of defiling the most honest food in the world with veggies or beef. I’ll just do what I do what I see that creeptacular BK king: I’m going to cover my eyes and pretend I didn’t see that.

I know this guy who went to Spain on his mission and really liked gazpacho. Gazpacho is like that horrible nightmarish Burger King king: it's awful and I don’t know who ever thought cold tomato soup was ever a good idea.
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This is the End on my comment.

[nikko]

Eeww... I like gazpacho, but it's one of those things you have to be in the mood for. And a jello-ized version??? BLECH!

"Feed your inner champion"??? ROFL.

[Thoroughly Jello-Belly Millie]

OK, your GA/Nike thing totally cracked me up. They ripped off President Kimball. He should've sued, but again, probably not something he would approve of. Burger King has the evil eye and he haunts my dreams, and their onion rings are completely unholy. (Ha! Get it? "Holey"??)

I do have Carrot's address, if you want it. Apparently you didn't creep her out quite enough. I continue to be amazed at the cruddy stuff people do to Jello. Even my beloved Lion House Christmas cookbook has a recipe for Lemon Shrimp Jello. Nothing says "lunch" like little shrimp bodies trapped in a big yellow mass of quivering goo. (Sorry if anyone was eating while reading my comment.)

So the English call Jello "jelly"? What do they call jelly?

[elasticwaistbandlady]

I'm guessing that they call it "jam", millie. You know, as in toe jam.

You had me at talks of competitive eating aspirations, sketchy. We are blog soulmates.

My mom always "encouraged" us to clean our rooms by screaming out, "Your A** is grass, and I'm the lawnmower!" I'm guessing that none of the GA's have ever uttered such a phrase in their entire lives.

[Thoroughly Jello-Belly Millie]

ROFL.....

[Sketchy]

Mmmm please pass the toe-jam...and I'm honored to be your blog mate.

Millie, love the new name, but have you considered this name changing thing is a bit compulsive. Lets talk, I'm worried...

[Julie]

I have one of those Jello books. Seriously. It belonged to my grandma, and my mom thought I should have it when I got married. My copy has to be at least 40 years old. But I swear it has that same recipe you posted. It looks nasty, even in the 40-year-old copy of the book.

[Ann]

I purposely stopped eating at BK because of that d@mn king/clown thing, it freaks me out.

As for jello, my midwestern roots would love a good recipe for jello with shredded carrots. Or maybe some lovely ambrosia salad with chunks of jello? Nummy goodness! :)

[Chrissie]

Yep, we call jello 'jelly'. Unless it has absolutely no fruit or seeds or whatnot in it, and then it's jelly (e.g. mint jelly that we put on lamb, or redcurrant jelly that you use to make glazes for ham). BUT if it's a citrus fruit jam then it's called marmalade.

Oh I assure you I have witnessed jello with carrots in it or marshmallows, being scooped all over beef and such like in Utah AND California. But then again, we eat Marmite and everyone freaks out about that in the States, so it's horses for courses I suppose :-D